so explain again why im purple
no
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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