I can text with my tongue
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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