I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
