dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
