he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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