So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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