clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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