Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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