Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
