try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
