she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
