I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
