i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
