Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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