ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
