We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
