...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
