Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
be right there i have to get my cape
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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