You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
