My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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