That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
