Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
