you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
