She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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