You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
