Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
