i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
