arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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