he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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