Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
