Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
