Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
