I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
