I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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