My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize