I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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