do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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