oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
