what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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