ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
