hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Who did Billy Mays play for?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
