She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
