You made me cry and you don't even care
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
