i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize