i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
