I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
