This girl is more easily done than said...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
