She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize