I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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