are you still at the devil's house?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
