Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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