i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
