You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
