i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize