I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
