maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize