are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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