i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
