I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
