Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
