He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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