Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
