I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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