too bad you live with your parents still
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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