btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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